Just thought I'd get the other journal off the front page, and although I promised this journal would be on a happier note I thought I'd talk a bit about some greviances I've had of late. Sorry if this sounds like I'm being a whiny namby-pamby, but I wanted to start this year being a little more assertive about when I don't think I'm being treated right or when I'm just annoyed at things in general. If I were to pick a word to describe me last year, it'd be angry; and I think I need to put effort into fixing a few things if I'm going to change my outlook a bit. But let's take this one step at a time shall we?

Let's get this bitch-fest going...

1 - Instant messengers;
I don't know about you, but I expect a little ediquete when it comes to instant messaging. I mean, a bit more then some of the examples in my AIM Attack deviation. Things like if you're about to head offline and someone starts a conversation with you, at least acknowledge their message and tell them "Sorry, gotta go right away". At least then it won't seem like you're blowing them off. The only other explaination for the chain of events is that you just don't feel like talking to the person or just don't care for their company. In either case it's a crappy thing to do. And on a side note, if you're going to be away for a length of time, make more use of the 'Away' function most messangers have. It's the same thing as above where it just looks like you're ignoring the person, or at least put 'Busy' up if you're focused on one conversation at a time.

I don't want to make this a regular thing, just maybe when I get fed up with certain things now and again. I suppose the vent made me a feel a little better, although it still feels like I'm lashing out. I guess read this and consider it if you think it applies to you. I don't feel like singling people out so don't feel obligated to reply here.

I promise something a little more possitive next time... for real this time...

After an interesting morning and figuring I have nothing else to do for the rest of the day, I thought I'd talk about a few things in my journal.

First of all, on a possitive note, I was FINALLY able to pick up a copy of Retro Game Challenge. I already played through most of the Japanese version, but it's nice to understand a lot more of what's going on now (and it certainly makes the RPG portion MUCH easier to play. I didn't even know you could recrute monsters until now). All in all, a very well designed game for anyone who appreciates pre 90's game design. Buy it so they'll bring the sequel over here as well (that this game was translated at all was a big suprise).

I'll also mention here that while I have been posting art more regularly, real life might become very interesting in the next few weeks. That being said, I might be occupied with projects I may or may not be able to talk about here (but if I can and everything goes through I certainly will). I'll just say I've been given an opportunity to do something I've dreamed of since childhood.

On a whole other subject, I wouldn't mind talking about my character and some recent events. I'd rather you don't read this if it's something you don't care much about.

I'm sure one of his more defining features to most people is the fact my character wears a diaper. Fact of the matter is it's something that's been a part of his design for several years but the real reason isn't something a lot of people wouldn't suspect. It's a long story, but I'll try to condense it.

It first started in an RP room back in 2002 wherein my character was an off-shoot of Tails from the Sonic series (all too obvious). One day in a diaper was put on him to exact revenge against his father-in-law (another long story) and it turned into a running gag after that.

It was about this time I started taking drawing seriously and it found it's way into my art. It was here I found that it had a very polarizing effect on people. That is there was a very clear divide between those who didn't care, and those who thought it was the most abhorant thing in the world. Frankly I wish I could say I was exaggerating but it almost cost me my personal art thread in a community I was going to at the time, as well as a freind I'd known for years and been through some shit through calling me out as a sick freak.

I would have considered dropping it at that point but further examination showed me that those who made a big fuss about it were usually the kinds of people I wouldn't care to associate with anyway. The aformentioned freind turned out to be less then courteous when he demanded writing out of me the same week I was broken up from a girlfreind of four years, and responded with a 'yeah right!' when I told him I had other things on my mind then doing work for him.

I avoided stating this 'why' for the most part because it would effectively defeat it's purpose. It would be a too-the-face challenge of 'If you don't like me, you're not a good person!' and that wouldn't be fair to anybody. I can accept people who don't think it's all that cool, it's those who go to extremes mentioned above that I would get bothered with.

Of course why am I bothering mentioning this now if it's something I didn't want to mention in the first place? Well, this is where the 'recent events' come in.

Recently I received a requested peice of art of my character. Innocently enough, she had asked what the diaper was about. I responded in the post it'd be a long story and didn't want to take it any further since I thought it would be rather pointless to explain or make some BS excuse for it. However, after my post and while I was at work, two others took it upon themselves to explain the 'baby fur' side of things.

I should come clean at this point, yes for some time I was a part of the Baby Fur community, mostly doing art and such and generally partaking in the community as a member. No other details need to be given but I left awhile back due to an underwhelming sense of accomplishment, that is I never really got any critical feed-back that I wanted and felt my art kind of stagnated while I took all-too-similar requests over and over. If you ever want to piss off a Baby Fur artist who acctually wants to develop their art, just call it 'Cute'.

Back to the requested picture and comments. When I got home, I was quite upset to see what others had connotated as the reason for me requesting the picture. That they tied something like fetish-ism to it not only made me feel absolutly embarassed for myself, but also ashamed for what the original artist must have felt to have been 'used' in such a way. I prepared a note and sent it to the original artist explaining my real reasons, and everythings been cleared up now, but I feel I'm kind of at an impass here.

I admit I like my character as he is (mostly. I'm still fussy about some other niggling details), and I will say I find the diaper a little endearing and cute (damnit, there's that word again), but should I have to dread requesting any other pictures of him if I can expect comments like the above? Embarassing not only myself, but the source community?

I will say the Babyfur community usually gets more flak than it deserves. There are some genuinely good people there and those with a better heads on their shoulders than those who run around the net decrying everything that isn't what they call 'right'. I don't mind defending the community but stuff like this makes it really hard to do. I don't want to condemn the lot for the actions of two, but I felt that this is something that I should address.

If anyone wants to discuss this with me further, I'd much rather do it in private PM, or over instant messengers, rather then in the journal comments here. Not everyone wants to know the nitty-gritty of the whys or hows of this subject and we all deserve a right to privacy anyways. Any comments here about the subject will be hidden, or I'll simply move the journal off the front page if it gets out of hand.

A rather sullen topic to end this journal on. I'll promise a happier one in the future.

Tais out...

Been awhile since I posted here, and figured this time would have been good as any. Christmas wasn't as crazy as it usually was, well acctually I suppose I have a story to tell or two.

To mention, Christmas shopping is something I like getting done early. This year was no different and I finished my initial shopping for my brother and sister roughly in September. At the begining of Decemeber my brother tells me he's agreed with my sister to get each other a Wii for Christmas, and that they'd really like to get Wii Fit. I thought I'd at least look around, but being the hot item this year it proved to be an impossible task. Then two weeks later my brother contacts me again and tells me they got Wii Fit already (and at a price that wasn't gouging), but instead asks for Monopoly, something ELSE which seemed to be difficult to find (I live in a small town and don't have easy access to the city), so in the end I just got them gift certificates along with my neices.

Otherwise a peaceful holiday. I got a new computer chair (something my back and neck REALLY needed) as well as a new dresser that I've managed to fit my entire game cartridge collection in.

In other news, shortly after my last dA post wherein I talk about starting a series of YouTube videos, my computer goes beyond crashing and completely dies (didn't even turn on). Expecting the worst I got myself a new one with Vista, something which dispite having the hardware doesn't seem to like doing video capture at all. Fortunatly I was able to revive the old computer a few weeks ago and the first in the next series of videos is up on my YouTube channel, this time being a playthrough of ShadowGate 64 (check out part 1 here [link] , pardon the campy attempt at acting).

I guess that's about all for now. I've started working on art again, but I want to get a few more peices acctually finished before I start posting again.

In the meantime, I am looking for things to sketch so for those paying attention leave a reply of what you'd like to see and I may give a few requests a shot.

Although if I may be a bit greedy myself, think some people can do some art for me?

Guess it's time for an update in the journal, a few things here and there...

First of all, I've recently come across a new store in the city devoted to classic gaming and related goods like magazines, manuals, and accessories. My more notable purchases include...

-Dragon Quest 4 (PS1, Japanese) [link]
-Braindead 13 (PS1, US) [link]
-Colecovision (with Donkey Kong and Lady Bug)
-A slew of NES games
-Several Saturn games (including Virtua Fighter 1 Remix + 2, Shining Wisdom, Astal, Street Fighter Alpha, and Battle Arena Toshinden)
-Gen X console (which plays both Genesis and NES games, an odd combination to be sure) [link]

I'll be sure to refer the store to anyone wishing to buy me anything for Christmas or my birthday.

Speaking of, it was my birthday last week (Sept. 3rd). A big hug and thank you to those who remmebered.

On the same day, I also got myself a new cell-phone, an LG Rumor. The slide-out keyboard is nice for texting (which I use a lot), and hopefully this one will acctually outlive the contract unlike my last two phones. Unfortunatly it looks like making custome ring-tones is going to be a pain in the arse (I want to have every call heralded by 'James Bond, the Polka Mix' damnit!)

One last item of note, which I already stated in a related deviation, is that I'm starting a YouTube channel, largely devoted to LetsPlays and reviews of classic games. Right now I only have the first episode up, but things have come to a pause for the time being since I need to fix up my audio a bit (the last video I record barely picked up my voice). But look forward to more soon.

[link]

That should be all for now. Now to go eat the sun

Just wanted to move the last journal off the front page. Sorry for whining like that, and I have to say those who responded are ones I never had an issue with. Thank you, friends.

With that out of the way now I'll discuss some recent occurances with my life, making proper use of the 'journal'.

In recent news I picked up an Atari 7600 from the pawn shop with 12 games, most notable being Galaga, Donkey Kong, Xevious, Pole Position 2, Ms. Pac-man, and Impossible Mission. It's a rather curious system, think of something with roughly lower grade graphics than the NES, but with the sound-chip and design mentality of the old 2600. Incidentally, it also plays my old 2600 games and has a pretty clear reception on my older TV.

I also just finished watching the entire series of Gargoyles, the animated series. I have to say it's still an enjoyable show and something I can still watch as an adult. It has uncommonly brilliant writing, characters and story that kept me interested throughout, although much like when it was on TV it did seem to slouch come the third season, so I guess it was for the best it ended when it did. By the way, Xanatos is the BEST villain ever. Cartoon or otherwise.

That's about all for now

(And it figures I can't change my 'mood' when I feel 'Llama' again)